


Artemis Fowl and the Flying Bra

by yuletide_archivist



Category: Artemis Fowl - Eoin Colfer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-12-20
Updated: 2007-12-20
Packaged: 2018-01-25 02:59:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1628036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yuletide_archivist/pseuds/yuletide_archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Story by Dakarasuki97</p><p>What is that? Artemis Fowl had never seen anything like it before. for once in his life he was completely and uterly confused.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Artemis Fowl and the Flying Bra

**Author's Note:**

> Hmm. I hope this is adequate. I'm a pretty bad writer and this is my first time to Yuletide. I'm sorry if I didn't write to what you were imagining along the lines of. I do hope you like it though!!
> 
> Written for Nope

 

 

Artemis Fowl and the Flying Bra

There were not many times in the life of Artemis Fowl when he had felt confused. As much as he hated to admit it (and would deny it If it came down to it) Artemis Fowl was completely confused. The young heir looked almost questioningly at his companion and bodyguard.

Butler just shrugged while suppressing a smirk of amusement and uneasiness at the same time. While the kid might be the smartest thing since Mozart he could be just so innocent at times, which was something you normally didn't describe Artemis Fowl as.

The boy had no idea himself but as he grew up he was not only frighteningly intelligent, he was also frighteningly beautiful. Now, at the tender age of 16 he had dark, raven black hair that was layered off choppily ending just above his shoulders, but in a neat sophisticated manner if that made any sense at all. His frame was tall and slender, lacking the broadness of shoulders but he was not gangly and ungraceful... just the exact opposite in fact. He had the most beautiful deep, piercing blue eyes that were alight with intelligence and knowledge far beyond his years and the fairest skin that was bleached pale from long nights in front of a computer screen... but it was a good kind of pale. His features were delicate and were always impassive in that dark, mysterious way which never failed to attract the opposite sex... not that he noticed.

Currently Butler and his young charge were on yet another of one of their infamous missions to retrieve something rather... confidential... why they were here he had no idea. Apparently it had something to do with the fact that Artemis was rather bored with no strange save-the-world adventure going on at the moment and Juliet had asked him to retrieve whatever it is that was here...

"Whatever... let's just get it and leave..." Artemis exhaled in slight frustration. He cringed ever so slightly at the amount of screams and squeals that sounded all of a sudden. Quickly he quickened his pace the sense of many eyes bearing down on his thin frame was quite apparent. Butler just chuckled much to his charge's dismay.

Quickly looking down he maneuvered his way around the surprisingly large room into the back where a door was hanging slightly open. Butler quickly followed growling slightly at the offending individuals who were currently eyeing his charge like a piece of meat, also making sure that they didn't lock him in the closet he was walking into... which they looked very tempted to do.

"Aha! I think I have managed to locate it. Hmm... odd, it seemed to be a lot easier than I thought it would be..." Artemis reappeared once more holding onto a thick black case, not realizing that anything Juliet would be asking him to retrieve would be all that hard to get in the first place.

A frown suddenly graced his features, "Oh, it appears to be locked..." He paused looking up his black hair splashing into blue eyes, "Do any of you have the key??"

They smiled collectively, in a way that for some reason made the young billionaire swallow and almost flinch uncomfortably.

One of them began unbuttoning their outer shirt, "You can search me." Her voice was low and suggestive. This of course sent the others into a chorus of shrieks and "omg she-did-not" ing.

Artemis almost choked as he shifted the safe underneath his arm, not really knowing why this situation made him feel as if something was crushing his chest and throat constricting his breath. He just didn't understand why they were looking at him like that.

"I can break into it in the car... I don't think we need a key... or maybe Juliet has it..." He said backing up slowly along with Butler grasping at random ideas and excuses as to why he didn't need to be there any longer.

He was almost out of the door when something hit him square in the face. It fell backwards onto the floor where he just stared blankly at it, his eyes losing their focus. It was just lying there, a piece of fabric and he had no idea what he was supposed to do with it... was it a present? Was he supposed to pick it back up? Was he supposed to wear it? Oh God, was he supposed to... eat it?

"Butler... what is tha--"

"Come on Artemis," The older man took the young heir by the arm and dragged him the rest of the way out of the door before he could finish his sentence and he'd be obligated to answer. His sister was going to be boiling in some very, very hot water when they got home. Because while Artemis had no idea, Butler had just realized Juliet's seemingly innocent intentions were hiding an ulterior motive.

With one fleeting glance at the bra that laid on the floor behind them Butler swore never to allow Artemis to go into a Women's changing room full of his hormonal peers no matter how important the package was to retrieve (which in this case it probably wasn't)... they would let Juliet get her own crap the next time... or hell, even Mulch was better...

~Later on the Phone~  
"See wasn't he the cutest?!" The youngest butler squealed into the phone that she held clutched up to her ear. A large black empty safe was sitting safely against her bed post.

"Yeah!! That boy was damn fine; if only he wasn't younger than me...You should have seen his face when Marie threw that bra at him. How did you get him to come over in the first place?!?" The voice from the other line shrieked near hysterics.

"I am just that good... wait--"

The wide grin that had been dictating Juliet's face moments earlier quickly reversed itself.

"You threw a bra at him?"

"Well... yeah... It was funny."

Juliet sighed shaking her head, "Anna, he probably didn't know what that was."

"..."

"I think you probably traumatized the kid... My brother is going to be so pissed... Shit..."

 

 

 


End file.
